The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
