Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
