Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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