i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Randomize
