1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Randomize
