oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
