so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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