he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
