doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
