it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
there is puke in my bra ... again
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize