Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I don't deserve a penis
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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