Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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