batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
