just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
