my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
