I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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