She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
