So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
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