hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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