it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Someone shit on the floor
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
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