Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
