So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I want a musical about memes.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
