My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Randomize
