planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
