is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
