i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Randomize
