Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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