I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
the day after is always just damage control
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
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