you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
