i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
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