just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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