Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Randomize
