Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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