Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize
