even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
