I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
