why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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