i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
