I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
