Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
