I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
