Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I just found a bag of teeth...
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
we're so committed to being not committed
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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