I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize
