Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
Randomize
