i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
