can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Randomize
