no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Pappa wants mamma naked
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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