the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize
