I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
