the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
the room spins SO much faster in panama
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
