Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
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