so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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