He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
