Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
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