I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
